Where I am today.

Today, I feel a lot of conflicting emotions. Dread, uncertainty, and dark clouds have obscured the previously sunny day. Extraction of the fever that now inhabits my brain is the only thing that can save me. Honestly, what I need is an exorcism. God, please bind that which binds me. Set me free. From myself. From foolish desires and fantasies. From my own shortsightedness. Help me focus on you. Your ways are higher than my ways. Your thoughts higher than mine. Thank you for shining out, even in the darkness of my own despair.

Psalm 40:1-6
I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD.
Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust,
who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods.
Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders you have done.
The things you planned for us no one can recount to you;
were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.
Sacrifice and offering you did not desire, but my ears you have pierced ;
burnt offerings and sin offerings you did not require.
Then I said, "Here I am, I have come-- it is written about me in the scroll.
I desire to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart."

Praise the Lord, O my soul;

all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

2Praise the Lord, O my soul,

and forget not all his benefits—

3who forgives all your sins

and heals all your diseases,

4who redeems your life from the pit

and crowns you with love and compassion,

5who satisfies your desires with good things

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.- Psalm 103:1-5